it is good to know your place.

Even though I am quite a bit upset about it, it is good to know where I rank with my best friend.

Last night I went out by myself for the 4th of July. I asked if she wanted to come along but told her that I did not have the cash to pay for both of us. she informed me that she did not have the money to pay her way so I went alone.

Then things went crazy and suddenly I am being called a liar yelled at via text message.

Anyway it is good to know that once I stop paying for others and asserting my self I am suddenly a liar and rude.

Is it wrong of me to be tired of paying for others to hang out with me. Just saying....

It is good to know that we are only friends if I am buying the drinks.

A better way

It seems like there should be a better way to do things. Haven't we all been taught to analyze things critically, think outside the box, and create effecent and effective solutions to our problems. At least this is how I was taught to handle problems when they arise. So why do our current politicians keep coming up with the same old solutions that don't really fix the problems and cause us to have to make the same difficult descisions the next year?

Case and point.

The local university, Western Michigan University, just raised tution rates on students for next year by 6.6%. The Michigan State budget had cut higher education spending which led to a 16 million dollar cut in WMU's budget. So I understand why the university had to charge its students more right now, but this is the same story that has been playing out in all Michigan's universities since 2002, since the economy of Michigan tanked and manufacturing jobs started leaving the state in droves.

So this budget shortfall is nothing new, and the solutions for dealing with it are nothing new. In 10 years of the same problems and challenges there are still no new or better solutions for dealing with a state budget and university budget problem then to to shift the cost burden back on to the individuals.

Really? This is all we got to work with?

How about one of these ideas.

Green Energy incentives. I don't know how much of a universities budget is taken up in energy costs, WMU is the 3rd largest in Michigan and the top 100 in the country, but I would guess that it is alot of money. So why can they not start putting up solar panels, wind turbines, and making building more energy efficent. We could even make it a student based project where students develop the systems and impliment the programs. It would seem to me that there is a lot of educational value in that as well as saving the university money longer term from having in house renewable energy sources.

Land Ho. Being a land grant university means something. It means that you have land. WMU in fact currently is trying to sell some of its land, and already sold a section to the Kalamazoo public school system to build a new middle school. But they have done this before too and still the budget problems remain. I would think a much better idea would be to maintain ownership and develop the land to fit the needs of the company or firm interested in leasing it. Think about it, continuos income, maintained value. So often the solution is in maintaing value equity holdings while finding a way for those hondings to make you money, not in selling off what you got for short term fixes.

Student loans and government run banks. This is more complicated but the idea is that student loans would be held and serviced by a state owned bank and that revenue from student loan interest could be used to cover the costs of running the bank and be put back in to the educational system to help keep future costs of education down. To do this one would require the supreme court reversing a decision that was made back when Andrew Jackson was president, the Supreme Court at that time refused to renew the charter for the Bank of the United States claiming that the constitution did not give congress the authority to do anything that even might look like regulating the economy.

New scene, please

It is really hitting me right now, how bad this area is for someone like me to live in.

It is not just the gay aspect of things, there is alot more to it then that. There just seems to be this void in my life. Even though I am currently seeing someone.

I guess it really hit me Saturday. I was looking forward all week to going out to Saugatuck MI on saturday for a fun night of dancing and drinking at the largest gay and lesbian resort in the state, for those that don't know Sagutuck is sort of Michigan's San Fransico. I almost always enjoy myself when I go, I love the music they play I like the dance floor and I love the environment although it usually makes me feel fat to be in a night club with all those in shape gay guys. Seriously though, I really like going there, it is fun.

Suddenly though, my BF started being against the idea of going and seemed more interested in just staying at home and watching Glee on DVD all night. He wasn't actually saying he didn't want to go to Saugatuck but he through out all these different things we could do at the last minute, like he suddenly really wasn't interested in going. So I just let it go and there entered the funk I currently find myself in.

This was my only weekend until the end of the semester to not worry and just have fun and all my plans and desires were thwarted. So now I have nothing to look forward to for the next two months, again. I really am starting to wonder if this listless feeling of just plugging along happens everywhere or if this is more of a midwest mentality brought on by the fact that there is nothing here.

Don't you get tired of never having anything to look forward to?

It is March 7th and all I have to look forward to is a possible 2 week layoff in July, yeah I am actually looking forward to being laid off from work for 2 weeks, since that will be the only vacation I will see all year and I have to wait 6 months for it. 6 months of non stop work and school before I have time to enjoy anything again and just be me. 6 months!

Give up to get

"You have to spend money to make money."

Not sure who said that first but I know Nathan Lane said it in the movie Mouse Hunt, and it is very true, but doesn't really create an acurate imagery for what it really means.

Here is what really means.....

I just recently got all the paperwork in order to do my taxes and the most amazing number out of all these numbers is what I paid in qualifing expenses for higher education. I took 7 credit hours and paid over 2800 dollars for it all. Between that money and how much I have already spent this year I could of paid off over 13% of all my debts and even paid off my credit card balence so that the account could finally be closed. Instead I have paid this money in to education for nothing more then the hope that when I graduate I can find a better job and a better life.

It is amazing to think about everything that I have given up for my education and when you consider that everyone in college makes these decisions on some level and at sometime you really have to wonder if any of us are sane.

Think about it. College students spend big bucks to go to school for something that is not a guarentee, just a better possibility, while giving up the money they could of made working for those 4 years, sometimes longer. They study long hours and give up alot of their lives for education.

Before anyone would say different I would like to direct your attention to a new study that came out recently showing that college life is not the party fest it used to be and that college students now feel they are under more pressure then ever before. Not only are we giving up alot in terms of money but we are giving up alot in terms of personal happiness too, all because we have all been lead to believe education is the key to sucess.

I have been thinking about this a lot lately, and I think now the reason why I contiune to pay and give up time money and my personal life to the cause of education is to prove my self to people that had written me off as a wash out. I don't really believe, anymore, that education is the key to a better life, just that I don't want others to judge me in a negative light just because I didn't make it.

I know people keep saying that I am only 29 and I have my whole life yet to look forward to so I shouldn't give up now, but really at some point wouldn't rather be happy with things rather getting your happiness, or sorrow handed to you in form of a graded test?

What are you giving up, and what do you think you will get from it? Can you be sure you will get it, and what if you don't? Will you still be able to get anywhere in life, or will you wind up spending the next 30 years paying back all the costs of your wasted education?