For all those that keep using the fishing metaphors when they talk to me about dating and building a relationship with some one.
The problem with being the catch of the day is that you will be the shit of tomorrow.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Being a single gay man in west michigan sucks
I was cleaning, all the week of Christmas, and I found this old paper that I got from a seminar I went to ages ago. This speaks very well to my situation. I have been looking for a boyfriend, or just people that are interested in getting to know me and see what happens. All I can say about it is that the west Michigan area really sucks for finding a date if you are a gay man at least.
I was talking to a guy on gay.com just a few minutes ago and I was really liking the conversation, cause it wasn't about cock size, how I like it, and what my stats are. It was a great conversation that ranged from how his uncle is a drag queen, which I actually have meet several times before, to his dads moonshine collection, to how much we both hate that thug attitude a lot of the younger guys have. Then he said something about his boyfriend.
Damn It!!!!
Anyway, about the paper I found.
Eleven tips for finding a partner
1. Take a look at all the people you already know. Your future love might be sitting right next to you.
2. Join activities that interest you to increase the chance you will meet other with shared interests. Even if you don't meet someone at least you are enjoying yourself.
3. Let your friends know you are looking.
4. Expand your pool of people.
5. Consider personal ads. (This blog post could be considered one big personal ad.)
6. Pursue people you are interested in. (The paper doesn't say this but if you are the one being pursued be nice and gracious if the answer is no, there is no reason to be offending about it.)
7. Let go if the one you pursue says no.
8. Don't turn every date in to a "Will This Be The One" assessment.
9. Don't look for love in places where you are more likely to find sex. (Nobody ever said, "I Do" in a bath house as far as I know.)
The last two apply especially to same sex partners.
10. Be out.
11. Have visible GLBT symbols in your life. (Yeah your out of the closet but how does anyone know you are gay. Contrary to some peoples beliefs we look like everyone else.)
Wish me, you, and all the rest of them luck.
I was talking to a guy on gay.com just a few minutes ago and I was really liking the conversation, cause it wasn't about cock size, how I like it, and what my stats are. It was a great conversation that ranged from how his uncle is a drag queen, which I actually have meet several times before, to his dads moonshine collection, to how much we both hate that thug attitude a lot of the younger guys have. Then he said something about his boyfriend.
Damn It!!!!
Anyway, about the paper I found.
Eleven tips for finding a partner
1. Take a look at all the people you already know. Your future love might be sitting right next to you.
2. Join activities that interest you to increase the chance you will meet other with shared interests. Even if you don't meet someone at least you are enjoying yourself.
3. Let your friends know you are looking.
4. Expand your pool of people.
5. Consider personal ads. (This blog post could be considered one big personal ad.)
6. Pursue people you are interested in. (The paper doesn't say this but if you are the one being pursued be nice and gracious if the answer is no, there is no reason to be offending about it.)
7. Let go if the one you pursue says no.
8. Don't turn every date in to a "Will This Be The One" assessment.
9. Don't look for love in places where you are more likely to find sex. (Nobody ever said, "I Do" in a bath house as far as I know.)
The last two apply especially to same sex partners.
10. Be out.
11. Have visible GLBT symbols in your life. (Yeah your out of the closet but how does anyone know you are gay. Contrary to some peoples beliefs we look like everyone else.)
Wish me, you, and all the rest of them luck.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Generational Gap in Homosexual behavior
It was interesting tonight, I was talking with a friend of mine who is older, mid fifties, and openly gay. He knows so many other guys in the area that are gay, or at least bisexual, and are in marriages they hate but trapped in the role of being the family man, many of them have kids.
The regularity with which this occurs seems to be increase in relation to the age group looked at. This is also proof that freedom of sexual expression is still along way off. If these guys can't go to their wives and talk about how they feel and how they have attractions to other men then who can they talk to, besides the strangers they hook up with behind their wives backs.
I am not passing judgment on the guys either. I understand they likely have an immense fear of what might happen to their lives if they talked about it. The level of macho-ism is still amazingly high and any kind of admission of homosexual feelings is a direct challenge to their machismo. In many cases it was also not possible to be openly gay when they were younger, so in order to keep up appearances they got married and had kids and all that happy horse shit.
I knew one guy in particular that lived that life. His wife had died. He talked about how horrible things were for him and his wife. He would have to use sex toys, pumps and rings, just to get it up and keep that way long enough. He knew how his wife felt about their sex life and he said many times how harsh things were for her. Can you ladies imagine going through an extended relationship feeling like your other half had no interest in you at all. After his wife died he still didn't want to be open about things with his family. He was scared of how is kids would react, even though they were all in their late teens or older. As of the last time that I talked to him, which has been years now, he was still in the closet and picking up college freshmen or anyone he could find. A ruff and lonely way to be.
It is amazing that even though it is more acceptable now then ever before to be gay so many people of the older generations have been left behind, and endanger themselves and their partners by finding anonymous sex with men and keeping it all hidden from their families.
The regularity with which this occurs seems to be increase in relation to the age group looked at. This is also proof that freedom of sexual expression is still along way off. If these guys can't go to their wives and talk about how they feel and how they have attractions to other men then who can they talk to, besides the strangers they hook up with behind their wives backs.
I am not passing judgment on the guys either. I understand they likely have an immense fear of what might happen to their lives if they talked about it. The level of macho-ism is still amazingly high and any kind of admission of homosexual feelings is a direct challenge to their machismo. In many cases it was also not possible to be openly gay when they were younger, so in order to keep up appearances they got married and had kids and all that happy horse shit.
I knew one guy in particular that lived that life. His wife had died. He talked about how horrible things were for him and his wife. He would have to use sex toys, pumps and rings, just to get it up and keep that way long enough. He knew how his wife felt about their sex life and he said many times how harsh things were for her. Can you ladies imagine going through an extended relationship feeling like your other half had no interest in you at all. After his wife died he still didn't want to be open about things with his family. He was scared of how is kids would react, even though they were all in their late teens or older. As of the last time that I talked to him, which has been years now, he was still in the closet and picking up college freshmen or anyone he could find. A ruff and lonely way to be.
It is amazing that even though it is more acceptable now then ever before to be gay so many people of the older generations have been left behind, and endanger themselves and their partners by finding anonymous sex with men and keeping it all hidden from their families.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Party in the USA
I am amazed at myself. I had been hearing this song every time I went out, I even heard it on NPR. I really liked it, but I had not heard it on the radio, besides NPRE, to find out who does the song or anything about it.
Finally enough of the lyrics stuck with me to google the lyrics and find out the name of the song. Miley Cyrus sings it, Party in the USA.
I am shocked at myself. As a rule I don't usually like any of things those Disney brats come up with. My argument goes something like this, "Anyone that has the entire Disney magic machine behind it can get to the top with out ever having to display any kind of talent beyond not being fat or otherwise ugly." I hate watching how Disney does this, I think the Jonahs Brothers are proof of what I am talking about.
Miley, Hanna Montana, Cyrus bothers me in particular because you don't know what of her is actual talent or what of her was bought by her dads money. If my dad was a one hit wonder of a country and western singer I might of become an attractive pop icon too. So much of what we are and can become is determined by our place in Americas socio-economic class structure. These Disney brats are one big reminder of that fact.
But for now I am honestly enjoying (loving) the song, Party in the USA, despite the bitter sweet knowledge that Miley Cyrus and the Disney juggernaut are responsible for it.
Finally enough of the lyrics stuck with me to google the lyrics and find out the name of the song. Miley Cyrus sings it, Party in the USA.
I am shocked at myself. As a rule I don't usually like any of things those Disney brats come up with. My argument goes something like this, "Anyone that has the entire Disney magic machine behind it can get to the top with out ever having to display any kind of talent beyond not being fat or otherwise ugly." I hate watching how Disney does this, I think the Jonahs Brothers are proof of what I am talking about.
Miley, Hanna Montana, Cyrus bothers me in particular because you don't know what of her is actual talent or what of her was bought by her dads money. If my dad was a one hit wonder of a country and western singer I might of become an attractive pop icon too. So much of what we are and can become is determined by our place in Americas socio-economic class structure. These Disney brats are one big reminder of that fact.
But for now I am honestly enjoying (loving) the song, Party in the USA, despite the bitter sweet knowledge that Miley Cyrus and the Disney juggernaut are responsible for it.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Can we kick Liberman out of the Democratic Party yet.
Technically he has already left the Democratic Party, I know that. But, he still caucuses with the democrats and they give him seats on influential committees to try and keep him somewhat aligned with the democratic voting bloc. Maybe they should get around to the prospect of dumping him from some of those nice committee seats. It might even be a good idea to run a serious candidate against him and call him to task for all the times that he has sided with the Republican Party on key issues.
It is amazing to me that he has somehow become the stumbling block on the health care debate. He was against the public option. Now he is against expanding Medicare to help cover people. I would be fairly certain that the only health care reform package he would support probbaly looks alot like the package Mc Cain was pushing. That was less about actual reform and more of a gimmick to keep the same broken system but with tax incentives and government vouchers to make insurance more affordable. (I don't remember how was he planning to pay for the vouchers again.)
That is another thing. The U.S. Senate needs to be kicked in the ass for coming up with this tax idea to pay for their reform bill. Taxing health insurance benifits on the common worker is a terrible idea. Here are two examples of why......
1. I work for an auto parts company. My health insurance is employer paid, I do not pay one cent for my coverage not even as a pre-tax deduction on each pay check. My insurance is negotiated between the company, the U.A.W., and the insurance company. I have really good insurance that pays 80% after I have paid an annual deductible of 200$ and pays 100% after I have paid a total of 1000$. However in a way I do pay for this good coverage. I pay for it in the form of lower wages, I only make a little more then 2 dollars an hour over minimum wage. If you taxed me on the value of my health insurance the taxes alone could make my excellent coverage cost me too much given my rate of pay.
2. My dad works for a machining company that makes power couplings and other devices for heavy duty machinery. He pays out of pocket for his health insurance, his plant is non-union. He is already paying something like 800$ a month for insurance, which isn't as good as mine. If you taxed him on that he would basically be paying an addtional cost for insurance he already has to pay for.
The millionaires tax that was in the House of Reps. bill made more sense as a way to pay for health care. I see nothing wrong with making those people, that benefit the most from having a cheap and un-insured workforce, pay for it.
Actually the best thing to do would be to open Medicare to everyone in the country, expand what is covered to include everything that is not elective surgery (This would include covering abortions in the cases of rape, incest, and if the life of the woman is endanger. In any other case they would still have the right but have to pay out of pocket.)
The way to pay for it is to expand the Medicare tax. On my last pay check it said that almost 9$ was withheld for Medicare tax. If Medicare was morphed in to a universal health care plan I would have no problem with paying for it with a higher Medicare tax. In my particular case this would likely translate in to a higher pay rate, since the company is no longer paying huge sums for health insurance. In my dads case this would most likely result in him paying less for his health insurance since an increased Medicare tax is not likely to cost him more then the 800$ something he currently pays each month.
Finally I just want to point out that the base problem with all of these arrugments is that we are still looking at health care through the eyes of capitalism. Capitalism is a cold calculating system obsessed with making profits and its culture has a firm grip on an industry that is supposed to keep us healthy and make us healthy again when we are sick. There should be moral outrage at the idea of one person turning a profit from another persons misery. But I understand that universal, not for profit, health care is a long way off and that is why for now I think the public option and a millionaires tax is the best solution.
It is amazing to me that he has somehow become the stumbling block on the health care debate. He was against the public option. Now he is against expanding Medicare to help cover people. I would be fairly certain that the only health care reform package he would support probbaly looks alot like the package Mc Cain was pushing. That was less about actual reform and more of a gimmick to keep the same broken system but with tax incentives and government vouchers to make insurance more affordable. (I don't remember how was he planning to pay for the vouchers again.)
That is another thing. The U.S. Senate needs to be kicked in the ass for coming up with this tax idea to pay for their reform bill. Taxing health insurance benifits on the common worker is a terrible idea. Here are two examples of why......
1. I work for an auto parts company. My health insurance is employer paid, I do not pay one cent for my coverage not even as a pre-tax deduction on each pay check. My insurance is negotiated between the company, the U.A.W., and the insurance company. I have really good insurance that pays 80% after I have paid an annual deductible of 200$ and pays 100% after I have paid a total of 1000$. However in a way I do pay for this good coverage. I pay for it in the form of lower wages, I only make a little more then 2 dollars an hour over minimum wage. If you taxed me on the value of my health insurance the taxes alone could make my excellent coverage cost me too much given my rate of pay.
2. My dad works for a machining company that makes power couplings and other devices for heavy duty machinery. He pays out of pocket for his health insurance, his plant is non-union. He is already paying something like 800$ a month for insurance, which isn't as good as mine. If you taxed him on that he would basically be paying an addtional cost for insurance he already has to pay for.
The millionaires tax that was in the House of Reps. bill made more sense as a way to pay for health care. I see nothing wrong with making those people, that benefit the most from having a cheap and un-insured workforce, pay for it.
Actually the best thing to do would be to open Medicare to everyone in the country, expand what is covered to include everything that is not elective surgery (This would include covering abortions in the cases of rape, incest, and if the life of the woman is endanger. In any other case they would still have the right but have to pay out of pocket.)
The way to pay for it is to expand the Medicare tax. On my last pay check it said that almost 9$ was withheld for Medicare tax. If Medicare was morphed in to a universal health care plan I would have no problem with paying for it with a higher Medicare tax. In my particular case this would likely translate in to a higher pay rate, since the company is no longer paying huge sums for health insurance. In my dads case this would most likely result in him paying less for his health insurance since an increased Medicare tax is not likely to cost him more then the 800$ something he currently pays each month.
Finally I just want to point out that the base problem with all of these arrugments is that we are still looking at health care through the eyes of capitalism. Capitalism is a cold calculating system obsessed with making profits and its culture has a firm grip on an industry that is supposed to keep us healthy and make us healthy again when we are sick. There should be moral outrage at the idea of one person turning a profit from another persons misery. But I understand that universal, not for profit, health care is a long way off and that is why for now I think the public option and a millionaires tax is the best solution.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Does anyone really care about Tiger Woods!
Seriously does any one really care that he crashed his car, and slept around. I am kind of tired of hearing about it. I would even bother to say anything about it except it is all over HLN, which the only thing we are allowed to watch in the break room at work.
Tiger Woods even more so a nobody then most of the other profession sports people out there. At least most professional sports icons play on teams that have a little something to do with city or state pride. Tiger Woods just plays golf, and he only does it for himself, and all the companies that sponsor him, I am sure if they could make it look un-tacky corporate America would cover his ass in company logo decals every time he plays a round.
It even gets me that HLN interviewed Perez Hilton, I think that is his real name (He was the guy that asked Ms. California about gay mariage). HLN interviewed him about it. He is just a blogger. That is how he got famous. So you have some blogger with no real job talking about some golfer with no real job. Then which ever commentator is on HLN at the time says something about trying to dig deeper on the issue.
There is nothing there!
This is a hollow issue and most of the hard working Americans I know and work with every day don't give two sparks of piss about it. Mostly we just laugh about how stupid all of this is and nutty people behave when it comes to those with celebrity status.
What we really care about are the things that matter to our lives so here are a few things I have heard today that the average working class hero needs to know.
1. GM annouced that they were not doing any more downsizing beyond what they have already planned. They came out and said if they ever want to reemerge as a world leader automotive maker they need to stop slashing jobs, closing plants, and cutting car models and they need to focus on making quality cars that will sell in the new auto markets of the world.
2. China has blasted western countries for not doing enough to cut carbon emissions and not giving out enough cash to other countries to help meet the challenges of global warming. (BTW...China is the worlds largest emitter of carbon dioxide and burns huge amounts of dirty coal every day for electricity.)
3. According to a report on the BBC a Mc Donalds fast food location in Florida refused to interview a person and verbally assaulted that person because he/she is transgender.
4. Somewhat related to 3. Uganda is trying to pass a law that makes being gay a crime punishable by death. An American hate speech author has had his works sited by the Ugandan government and had been asked to speak before members of the Ugandan government.
5. Michigan has been under a blizard warning now for a full 24 hour period. Heavy snow has made daily commutes hard and in counties along Lake Michigan, such as where I live, lake effect snow has complicated an already tough storm.
Tiger Woods even more so a nobody then most of the other profession sports people out there. At least most professional sports icons play on teams that have a little something to do with city or state pride. Tiger Woods just plays golf, and he only does it for himself, and all the companies that sponsor him, I am sure if they could make it look un-tacky corporate America would cover his ass in company logo decals every time he plays a round.
It even gets me that HLN interviewed Perez Hilton, I think that is his real name (He was the guy that asked Ms. California about gay mariage). HLN interviewed him about it. He is just a blogger. That is how he got famous. So you have some blogger with no real job talking about some golfer with no real job. Then which ever commentator is on HLN at the time says something about trying to dig deeper on the issue.
There is nothing there!
This is a hollow issue and most of the hard working Americans I know and work with every day don't give two sparks of piss about it. Mostly we just laugh about how stupid all of this is and nutty people behave when it comes to those with celebrity status.
What we really care about are the things that matter to our lives so here are a few things I have heard today that the average working class hero needs to know.
1. GM annouced that they were not doing any more downsizing beyond what they have already planned. They came out and said if they ever want to reemerge as a world leader automotive maker they need to stop slashing jobs, closing plants, and cutting car models and they need to focus on making quality cars that will sell in the new auto markets of the world.
2. China has blasted western countries for not doing enough to cut carbon emissions and not giving out enough cash to other countries to help meet the challenges of global warming. (BTW...China is the worlds largest emitter of carbon dioxide and burns huge amounts of dirty coal every day for electricity.)
3. According to a report on the BBC a Mc Donalds fast food location in Florida refused to interview a person and verbally assaulted that person because he/she is transgender.
4. Somewhat related to 3. Uganda is trying to pass a law that makes being gay a crime punishable by death. An American hate speech author has had his works sited by the Ugandan government and had been asked to speak before members of the Ugandan government.
5. Michigan has been under a blizard warning now for a full 24 hour period. Heavy snow has made daily commutes hard and in counties along Lake Michigan, such as where I live, lake effect snow has complicated an already tough storm.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)